Hi Everyone,
Well, life is roller coaster for me lately. The transition to working two gigs has not been an easy one and the change in seasons is also very trying. You see, Alex and I always loved autumn. The cooler weather, changing colors and falling leaves always signaled the coming of Alex's birthday. There will be no birthday party this year with my beautiful boy. I know this and absolutely HATE it.
Zoe has been asking about her brother ALOT these days. Just this morning she asked me, "Mom, where's Alex?" To which I had to reply, "Alex is dead baby." And Steve added, "He is not here, Zoe."
On our last camping trip she and I had the following conversation:
Z-Mommie, Alex come back like Nonnie?
G- No baby, Alex is not coming back.
Z-Alex has a bump, Alex has a bump inside his head?
G-Yes, baby.
Z-Alex need a band aid!
G-No baby, there is no band Aid for Alex's bump. We tried very hard to find one. It is very sad that Alex is not here. We miss him very much.
On most every other front, Zoe is doing fantastically! She has really blossomed over the summer and her smile has returned.
I know this post is short, but you all are probably grateful for that. I will do my best to keep you more up to date on our status. Just know that rough waters are ahead for us from this point on.
Take care and take a moment to appreciate the ones you love in your life today. It is worth the effort!
God bless,
G
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4 comments:
Always listening and thinking of you,
Love,
Susan
Thank you for taking the time to write. Your and your family are in my prayers.
This might sound weird, but I love Zoe and am jealous of how she's grieving for Alex. She's open and isn't afraid to ask the hard questions again and again.
I find myself dodging the why and where questions too many times in my grief and never challenging myself to seek the answers. It's easier and expected for an adult to not to ask the questions that can't be answered.
Give her a kiss for me for being so brave.
You and your family remain in our hearts. Thanks for posting.
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