Hi all,
So today is a very hard day for me. It started out just fine, but then I thought about the fact that Alex's birthday is just one week away. The thought that we are not all excited about his upcoming birthday party and celebration just makes my heart want to scream. I should be out buying gifts, sending out Evites and checking it twice, getting Alex and Z ready for Halloween. Yet, that won't happen this year. My boy will never turn six years old. There will be no birthday party with tons of kids running around laughing with Alex. Alex will never be a grown, beautiful man. We'll never attend his graduation or his wedding. We'll never so many things.
It is just so unfair!!! It hurts too much.
Sometimes I wonder if I'll make it through this pain that invites me to fall into unknown depths of agony. Some days are better than others at avoiding the dungeon of hell that is my pain without Alex. Others, like today, are not those better days. A storm is brewing and it matches my inner turmoil. The thunder you hear is my inner angst fighting with my sense of survival. I'm sure there will be lightening and perhaps a tornado or two!
G
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5 comments:
sending my love!
t.
sorry. I am thinking of you all.
Love Susan
You and your family are in my thoughts.
Shantell Gutierrez
I can ever begin to imagine what it must be like, but please know you are in my prayers and i think of you always.
Lori
I am sure that this time of year is hard. We send our love and prayers. XXOO.
Jo-Nell
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