Hi. The last week has been very dark for me. Remember when I talked about the black hole I was so afraid I would fall into after losing Alex? Well, I fell into it. I also started taking some new supplements and medication (to help me sleep) and after reviewing the side effects have called my doctor to let them know. I will go in this morning so perhaps this too shall pass.
The darkness felt alot like hormones but once that was ruled out and the mood continued I started to think. Have you ever not felt in control of your mood? I really did feel like something had hold of me and it would not let me "snap out of it." I have been a royal B-I-T-C-H!! I have been short and loud with Zoe and that is just NOT me!! Poor Steve and Nonni, they are just trying to get out of my way and have had to walk on eggshells around me. I keep telling them I hate this as much as you do but in 10 minutes I'm that crying, short tempered, ball of mush on the floor again. So wish me luck at the doctor's office. I REALLY need it!
God bless, hugs,
G
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5 comments:
Gwen, I really do know what it is like to be totally out of control of my own emotions. It is very scary. Like suddenly the floor is no longer beneath your feet and the laws of physics don't apply to you and only you.
Your Doctor can help. Try to hang on to any thread you can. We are all here reaching out a hand to pull you up again!
Just being able to identify that you are there is a step in the right direction!
Love, Tina
Hugs from a stranger.
Shantell
Gwen, Sorry to hear you are having darker days. Take it one day at a time and don't push yourself. I wish I were there to go for a walk every day (it would benefit both of us!) to get those positive juices flowing.
Hugs from Karlyn
I'm so sorry you're struggling. I've been there, too. I hope you find some relief. Try to find something you like to do and make time to do it. For me it was walking the dogs and reading trashy novels and playing the piano. Anything that gives your mind a rest is good.
BTW, there is a very nice chat Wed. mornings at the compassionate friends site for newly bereaved parents. It's at 9:00 a.m. eastern. www.thecompassionatefriends.org
Wishing only good things for you.
Gwen,
We hope light is coming into your life and your smile is returning. The world needs it and you.
If you ever need to talk, yell or cry to someone you can call.
Wishing you peace,
Paula and Merri Ann
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