So I can't tell you how hard life has been since Tuesday night. You see while I was reading Zoe her bedtime story, I realized that this is my first Mother's Day without the son that made me a mother. How can that be? Why must this be? Until last night, I was in a serious depression. I just could not imagine how I was going to live through this pain and anguish. Last night I realized that I could call upon my support system for help and that is what I did. So after three tearful talks I feel like I can do this and realize that I must. There really is no other option. Zoe is a wonderful child that I adore. Alex would never want me to give her less than my best. So to honor him, I will get up on Sunday and open the small box Zoe brought home from school today and feel her hug and soak up her love.
I wish all of the wonderful mother's I know (and the ones I don't) a spectacular Mother's Day. Please be kind to yourself and appreciate the beauty of your children (even if they are no longer children). I know Alex would want you to!
Much love and God Bless!
G
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2 comments:
Lovely Gwen...
After reading this I realized something that I don't think you know. You were a born "Mother"!! You mothered Stephanie...and have always had a special gift of being completely attuned to those you were with. You are a born nurturer, caregiver, encourager, creator. You call the very best from others...and give the very best of yourself. Alex did not give you the title of Mother...he simply gave you an incredible vessel to deposit your motherhood into. And he rewarded your efforts with that wonderful smile and courageous, infectious love.
There are people everywhere who need a real "mother" to believe in them and call them forth to their best...and Zoe is one of those. But don't forget that there are people all around you that need the nurturing that seems to emanate from your heart...and you give so freely. This week you called on three friends to "mother" you...and they gave.
I pray you will be able to celebrate your Motherhood Sunday with an awareness that God will always supply you with vessels to pour into...and He will never waste your gift...because you are so good at it!!! Alex was so very very blessed to have been deposited into your life for his mothering...even for such a short time. NO ONE could have done it better. And you were exceedingly blessed to have such an open and responsive child.
Happy Mother's Day...and every day... Dianne K
Extra prayers for you this weekend. You are a model of the strength of motherhood for us all, even if you don't feel strong.
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