Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Wednseday, February 25, 2009- This is Changing Me.

So I realized last night that I am changing at my very core. In order to facilitate change, I feel compelled to hold on to anger, mistrust, anxiety and fear. It is very exhausting staying in such a negative space and it is not my nature to absorb such negative states. I know if I let go that things will just move back to there "usual" which is why we are here now. So what do I do? Does divorce/separation usually change the parties involved into angrier, mistrusting souls? I have worked so hard at living a good life and being a good person, inside and out that this is causing me great distress. My body is even feeling the stress and is ill, again.

If you know how I can continue to stay motivated for a better life without losing myself, I would love to hear from you.

God bless.

G

3 comments:

Annie said...

Thinking of you during this difficult time, Gwen. Anger is something that is not always seen as positive, and I don't enough about your situation to say whether the feelings you are experiencing are helpful.
Being true to your inner self will help you make the right decision in the long run--you have a lot of life ahead of you, so try to keep your focus on making decisions that will make your life a richer and more fulfilling one, whatever those may be.

Anonymous said...

Gwen,
You must trust your own inner strength to do what you need to do for yourself with or without whatever emotions you are feelings each day. Let them come and go as they may....it is all part of the process. You have much to live for and look forward to...don't let today's challenge rob you of the hope you have in tomorrow. You are going to walk through a storm, but you will emerge, and when you do, there will be much to live for and much to look forward to. Fix your eyes on these things...one hour at a time. Praying for you....

Anonymous said...

Imagine we all have a "good dog" and a "bad dog" fighting it out inside of us. Unfortunately, during a divorce we see our spouse's bad dog in full foaming mouth red eyed hackles up force. You can let your bad dog fight their bad dog, but ultimately what is best for you is to nourish your inner good dog. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hang in there, we are cheering for your good dog!