Wednesday, October 14, 2009 - Another Alex Moment

Hi All,

So I want to share a very special "Alex Moment" we experienced this past weekend. If you follow me on Facebook, then you know I was having a hard day-missing Alex a few weeks ago. By dinner time, I just wanted to feel warm, enveloped and eat some comfort food. As I was trying to explain this need to Steve, Macaroni Grill came to mind so we were off. Zoe decided to bring along one of two rocks Steve and I purchased on our honeymoon last year at the petrified forest. These are really cool rocks. They are shaped like eggs-white, smooth and when you hold them you can see a rainbow kinda glow from the inside of the rock. We call them our rainbow eggs and if you have followed this blog for any length of time then you know Alex's connection to rainbows.

Okay so all through dinner, Z is playing with this rock and occasionally drops it on the floor of our booth. I decide to put it in the small shopping bag she was carrying it in and set it aside. We all had a very nice dinner, while reflecting on all of the past dinners we shared with Alex, friends and family at this Macaroni Grill. So when we left, I was sure the rainbow rock was with us but somehow when we got home it was not in the bag. I was very distraught but resigned myself to "it ain't nothing but a thing" mentality. But my heart ached everytime I glanced at the crystal dish that used to be home to the two rainbow rocks, that now was half empty.

So last Saturday, I was working at my desk when I noticed that the crystal dish was now occupied by BOTH rainbow rocks! I was amazed and ecstatic. I showed Zoe and said to her "I bet your brother brought this rock back to us". To which, she replied " I bet Alex tiptoed out of my heart and put the rock here, then went right back in!" I enthusiastically agreed with her and we went to tell Steve.

I asked him if he had put the 2nd rock in the dish and he said "no". Once again, I had the feeling that Alex was making his presence in our lives obvious to us, just in case we had forgotten that he was always with us.

Well, that was my goose-flesh moment of the month. Alex's 7th birthday is coming up on the 28th and I have already started feeling the new pain this date brings. The 1st birthday after his passing seems like a haze but this one seems so solid and overwhelming, real if that makes any sense. I will never get to see his big boy smile, hear his 7 year old laugh, see my children share another birthday party. The pain is so immense. Alex is and always will be with me. I just wish I could hug him, see him and give him a sweet kiss.

Okay, well it is time to get Zoe up and ready for school. Thanks for checking back with me. I hope you are well and that you can pull a favorite Alex memory out of your mind to honor our special boy.

Love,

G