Sunday, August 19th-Mommie Dearest

Well, here comes another week! Last night Steve and I had a wonderful evening just enjoying each other's company and some great food and wine! It was soooo incredible! I almost feel like a new person!


Steve got on a plane this afternoon and we are all missing him horribly. When we pulled into the garage without Steve, Zoe became very upset and started crying "No daddy! Go back! Go back!" Alex has expressed how much he misses his dad as well.

At bedtime, I read the same bedtime story we have read every night since Alex's birth (and even a few nights before that!) and then Alex asked that I lie down with them for a little bit. I started holding Alex's hand because he was picking his nose. Alex's nose looks bloody but it is really just the remnants of a wound that just won't heal due to the radiation and steroids. Anyway, I had put a band aid on his "picking" finger just to give his nose some time to heal. So as I am holding Alex's hand, he says "Mommie, you know, when you hold my hand I can't pick my nose." "Yes, Alex." "Mommie, no matter what you do, I will always hold your hand."

Uhh, well that was about the best thing I have heard in a long time. I have been tormented about how horrible I have been with the kids recently. Everyone says I am too hard on myself and that I should just relax but I think all moms know that there is always "more" we could be doing. ALWAYS!! So when Alex said that, I realized that even though I have completely messed up at times, he still just wants to hold my hand "no matter what." Ahh, peace. Joy. Happiness. My heart is full!

Okay, I don't know how long this feeling will last, but I wanted to get it down before it fades into a distant memory.

God bless, take care, send energetic, soothing energy please! (Is that an oxymoron? Is there energy that is soothing and energetic?) Oh crap, here I go again!

=0)