So Alex came home today. I thought I would be ecstatic to have him home, but as we pulled into the garage, I realized I was bringing my firstborn home to die. I can not express the depth of sorrow and despair that came along with today's meetings. At one point, I was just begging that Alex not suffer from one of the many scenarios given on his death.
Steve and I have picked several fights with one another just to vent the frustration of the day. Steve did not take signing the DNR lightly and really sunk after that event. I did not like the discussion on the highly possible "48 hour coma" that was to come before death.
I have no idea what to think about. This is so F'd up on sooooo many levels that my mind is constantly struggling on not sinking into despair. Luckily we have friends and family to help us through these dark days.
I'm on the verge of exhaustion so I must go. So much more to share later. God bless.
G
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3 comments:
I love you, Gwen...please give Alex and ZG extra hugs and kisses from me. You and your family are always in my heart. I truly admire the woman you have become.
With love,
Your friend forever,
Tracie
There are simply no words I can find Gwen....our prayers and hope and love continue for you, Alex, Steve and Zoe...
Susan and family
Alex is an amazing little boy with many people who love and adore him. May your family feel all the prayers, hope, love and strength that is spread across this world. We continue to send you the hugs and kisses to Alex, Zoe, Gwen and Steve. LOVE YOU ALL.
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