Monday, May 14, 2007

Monday, May something

Well, Saturday ended with shakers of Pomegranate martinis and a very tearful call to my sister. Steve and I had a very difficult time that day. Alex was completely miserable. He would not/could not eat, drink, sleep and breathing was not easy either. That is very difficult to see and not be able to help your child. Sunday was better. He ate some, drank some and sat at the dining room table and colored. While I was opening my Mother's Day cards he said, "You know what the best part about Mother's Day is? Spending time with you." I told him he just made my day!

Zoe and Alex got me a spa treatment package that I can not wait to use. Zoe wore a beautiful little sundress (that she wanted off immediately) and we spent a lot of time outside planting flower containers. She and I had done the flower shopping Saturday afternoon, just because I had to get out of the house or go crazy (and Steve insisted!!). All in all it was a good day.

While having a coloring party with his best friend, Alex said after coughing AGAIN, "Mom nothing is working on my cough! NOTHING, not the white pill, not the little pill, not the pink pill and not even the red medicine!! I"m sick of being sick and just want to go outside and run and play." This breaks my heart. Does he know how far away he is from being outside and running and playing? Does he know that we have no idea if his swallow issues will ever be resolved? Is there anything I can do to help my little, beautiful boy?

Well, I'm near tears and sitting in the radiation center waiting room. So I'm going to wrap this up. I'm reading a great book right now by Elizabeth Gilbert, "Eat, Pray Love". I highly recommend it. Last night I came across another sentence that I want to set in my memory and also share with you. On page 191, it states "God dwells within you, as you. AS you. . . God dwells within you as yourself, exactly the way you are. God isn't interested in watching you enact some performance of personality in order to comply with some crackpot notion you have about how a spiritual person looks or behaves."

That seems so difficult to wrap my head around, yet it is the lesson of Love I have been taught my entire life.

Okay, gotta go. God bless and have a wonderful day.

G

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so, so happy that Mother's Day was a good day, made even more wonderful by Alex's comment. It's amazing how it takes one simple sentence to fill a mother's heart with such joy. Alex is wise beyond his years and is certainly being as patient as humanly possible with his current limitations. I continue to envision him regaining his strength and running and playing outside with his friends sometime soon.
~Annie

Anonymous said...

You're always in out thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you today...I hope this finds you in better spirits.
hugs