Good Morning,
Today feels like a better day. Today is my nephew's birthday. He was born just months before our wedding and luckily I was able to fly home to be with Stephanie for his birth. I wil never forget that day. The delivery was long and very hard on Stephanie. Evan was in danger towards the end of the delivery and my mom and I were pushed aside so a team of nurses could come and assist the doctor and get the baby out! Everyone was so scared, I was shaking for at least an hour afterwards. Evan has grown into a wonderful child. He is so bright, loving, and has loads of energy. He also has an incredible artistic side. I adore being with them and so do Alex and Zoe Grace. Happy Birthday beautiful boy! We love you!
On another note (such is life, I guess), my stepfather's brother is in a coma and not doing well. He was treated for pneumonia then lost consciousness and stopped breathing for 20 minutes. This is completely unexpected and my heart goes out to Randy and the family. Life is so fleeting. This event brought me back to the realization that we REALLY do only have this very moment. I hope that helps me get through these next few days/weeks.
Anyway, I wanted to share with you a passage I read when I opened my book "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert last night. So here goes:
Page 260: "I keep remembering one of my Guru's teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you're fortunate enough. But that's not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don't, you will leak away your innate contentment. It's easy enough to pray when you're in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments."
You can see how pertinent that was to me last night after yesterday's blog, right? Well, thanks to a dear friend and beautiful soul that came on a moment's notice to just be with me, I was able to keep from sinking yesterday. She was my buoy as well as my support yesterday. Today, I have on my "to do" list, to contact the director of the family support group at TCH. Hopefully we will be able to connect with other parents/families in similar situations.
Okay, well I don't know if I am ready to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of my own blessings quite yet, but I bet I will be soon. Thank you all for your words of support to get me through the days.
BTW, Alex is doing quite well. He is at his highest weight ever and has got the buddha belly to show for it! It is quite cute and temporary since he will lose his appetite as he gets off the steroids starting next week. Yesterday, he queried "Mom, will I lose my appetite once I am off my meds?" I told him yes, but it will come back. Not to worry now, since that will be days, even weeks away. He replied, "yah, that is not for many days, so I don't have to think about it now." Ahhhh. Children. Aren't they great?
Zoe Grace must have known that I needed a distraction yesterday because she woke up in a MOOD!! She had three or four time outs yesterday for everything to throwing to putting her feet in the dog's water bowl. She would NOT take a nap yesterday even though she was obviously tired and fell asleep in the car twice! I don't know if she was just being two, or somehow, someway keeping me out of my frightened funk (as I lovingly refer to it). But any way, it worked. I was so grateful for the good times, the sweet days, that I longed for them by bedtime last night. Any parent knows what I am talking about! Sometimes it is ONLY our memories of how sweet and adorable our children are/can be that get us through the days!
Okay, I got a list of stuff to do. Have a wonderful day.
God bless,
G
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3 comments:
Gwen,
You do an amazing job of hearing difficult news, processing it, and moving forward in the most positive way. That passage that you shared from your book reminds me of you. Despite everything you have gone through last year, your house has always been filled with happiness. Your children are a refection of you and Steve..and just look what happy amzing little kiddos they are!
Much love from across the street,
Crissy, Ben, Esther, and Wylie
'Hold tight your good attainments', my Dear, because your life is even now sharing your blessings with so many of us, who will recall your words of courage and humor when we most need them. Love and prayers, Scott's Mom.
I'm a fellow HM who wanted to learn more about your family after reading about your son on our board. I've only gotten as far as this first entry because I wanted to comment on how wise you are. I loved your statement about happiness. Even if borrowed, the way you put it into words was nice. And I absolutely love the sentiment about the memories of our children's good days/times carrying us through many days. Thank you for sharing!
Best wishes,
Paula
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